Microwave food reviews - yes it's come to this

Back in the ole Red Stick

I've been surviving on microwave meals and I'm going to start rating them.  Exciting I know!

First up:

How does it smell:  OK

What does it look like after cooking?

I added peas..to pretend I am still ingesting vegetables. 

Gotta say, this isn't bad!  for the 2 dollars, thumbs up!

Ooh fancy microwave food!

This smells like chicken noodle soup, and not the good kind.  It smells like the instant nuclear yellow kind I eat when I'm too lazy to make people food due to illness.  Its the kind Joel hates because it dyes our serving utensils bright yellow. 

Back to the meal at hand:  The sauce is meh...too much like cheap chicken soup.  The peas are nice for once and so are the carrots.  The "walnuts" it claims to have were precisely two crumbs and also, why is there walnuts in here?  Like what is that going to improve?  Odd choice.  The inside of the pasta for this is REALLY good despite everything else.  I'd eat this again, mostly because I have little choice.

mmm Fake Chinese food.... yikes why do I buy this stuff when I'm starving.  Bad plan.

This smells ok, but MY GOD, look at it.  Its so BLAND.  Throw less veggies in there Marie Calender.  Water chestnuts are NOT food, they are filler.  Only eat this if you don't like eating.

Oh yeah...here's where I make my worst mistakes.  Why would I purchase this deep fried monstrosity?  How does one "Microwave Crispy"?   These are mysteries best left unsolved.

Look at this shit.  It's like deep fried turds.  It smells AWFUL.  Also note the bite - I didn't microwave it quite enough, took a bite, gagged then remembered I should take a picture of this sucker.  It literally looks like its covered in some kind of food related pimples.  AVOID AT ALL COSTS!

Healthy Choice!  Because when eating from a microwave, remember - Keep your health in mind!

This is 310 calories for a reason.  There is basically NO FOOD HERE.

This one smells like baby food. :S The sauce is super apple-y and full of cinnamon. Bonus points for using asparagus and squash, even if the squash was a bit stringy.   The insides of this are awesome, too bad they give you basically no raviolis. They are clearly trying to starve me to death. (Take that for eating a burger for lunch! You're going to starve at dinner, biotch!).

More fake stir fry! Even less calories!  I forgot to take an after picture.  This ones actually pretty good, but needs more rice in it and would be really good if it had chicken.  I'm pretty sure the low calories is because its vegetarian.

Oh god - this one....Another Healthy Choice.  I must have bought this particular one while suffering from a head wound because DAMN U GUYS, this shit is terrible.

Everything about this, the smell the texture, the taste was a giant NO.  I mean what in Lucifer's handbag was that "Cherry and Blueberry Dessert"?!?! Just NO.  Smells like death.  Tastes like I am dying.  I actually think I am dying or getting a tumor or something.  This cant be good for me, and this is like 1 weeks worth of crap I ate!  I just want a salad, and a hug and a full health check up.

Ahh look at it!  SO GROSS.  The Cherry Dessert was goopy cherry syrup with chunks.  I needed to eat so I gagged the meat and veggies down, and then I was still hungry so I chased it with the next food item!  (I have literally lost my mind AND my taste buds by this point)

Healthy Choice again - when will I learn.

Answer: never!

The below picture doesn't even need an explanation.  You can just see how friggin awful this is.  The beans were dry and tasted like plastic and some had something crystallized to them.  The pasta was so vile.  I went to bed hungry and sad.

Only to wake up the next day and eat more micro-foods!

Ok this one has my vote on good.  Smells very yummy, has veggies and a good sauce and meat that feels like real meat and not cardboard in the shape of meat!  YAY!

That's all for now, I think I am going to eat at some real food places for a bit.  I am pretty sick of the weird taste of these foods.  This week was a lot of pastas but before this I did more stir fry options which seem to be really gross.  I can't wait to eat pork chops and steaks and salads again.  Currently my salads come from McDonald's.  Yes, that's right I'm getting my veggie intake from freaking Ronald McDonald.